Heads in Beds – Jacob Tomsky

Image

“I can advance a well -reasoned argument that nothing worth listening to was recorded after 1972.”

“Worry not. The systems have changed and we can no longer see the movie titles. I mean, we know the new releases cost $12.95 and the sexual releases cost $14.95. We just no longer have access to your specific fetishes. Not that we judge you. (LIE).”

“Here is a nice rule of thumb we can all try to remember: a person of culture should make every effort to hide his frustration from those who’ve had nothing to do with its origin. Boom.”

“Pushing through an unmarked white door to the supply closet, he stopped and turned to face me. This was a man who hits the gym, grunts and screams as he benches 350, and then leaves more angry than when he went in. He had one fat vein surging out of his white starched collar, and it ripped up his throat and pulsed in a rage, as if it were filled with hot sauce and pumped that burn right into his brain.”

“Like milk and cereal: whores and hotels.”

“The pace of a Manhattan evening shift is four finger lines of cocaine dumped into a five hour energy drink.”

“We had a few working-class celebrities, nice guys like Tony Danza who stuck it out Bellevue-style because the bellmen here weren’t afraid to scream, ‘Ayo, Toneee,’ when he would swagger into the lobby, and you could tell, Danza loved that shit.”

“I kind of feel as if Brian Wilson died for our sins.”

“So when the ground is steady and the sky is clear, we should breathe deep until our lungs inflate against our ribs and hold in that one breath until we are light-headed with the privilege of being alive. The absolute privilege of being human.”

If my overabundance of quotes wasn’t proof enough already (I’m sorry! I just couldn’t pick three!), I really enjoyed Heads in Beds by Jacob Tomsky. A memoir from a guy who has worked basically his entire life in the hotel industry, it is full of laughs, and legitimately good advice on how to get the most of your hotel experience.

This one was actually a recommendation I stumbled upon on someone else’s blog a few days ago and they said it made them laugh till they cried. While yes, it was very funny, it was also very informative (want to know how to get out of paying for your mini bar bill, or getting upgraded to the best room in the hotel absolutely free?), and it was heartfelt and meaningful. You really get such an interesting insiders perspective on the personal dynamics of hotel staff, and this novel has completely opened up my eyes to aspects of a hotel, and my experience staying there that I would never have realized otherwise. I even brought up this title with a classmate of mine who works at a high end hotel here in the city, and she completely corroborated everything I had difficulty believing to be true from the book, like the fact that yes, hookers really do use that revolving door as it’s meant to be used. Sometimes the same girl even coming back more than once a night for different johns!

I was disappointed when it ended, as I could have kept reading it for days. Check this one out for sure. It was great!

xo

OMPP

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s